Wednesday, May 31, 2006

Saturday, May 27: Now for Something Completely Different



Contestants: Robert Wright and Joel Achenbach

[Spotlight on Bob and Joel, center stage. Cue Music. Bob and Joel begin singing together.]

Oh! Boy! It's good to see ya!
We're glad you came to join us today...
Whew! Boy! It's nice to meet ya!
So let us take a moment to saaaa-aaaaayyyyy!

Welcome to the Bob and Joel Comedy Hour
We're here to make you laugh
If you've been feeling all down and dour
Then perk up your ears...
And turn up the vooooooluuuuuume.....

[Joel steps forward, begins solo.]

I'm a kidder and a teaser and if that's a crime
then lock me up right here, right now, today...
Call me prisoner number 36549
If I can't make you laugh throw the key away...

[Joel pratfall. Bob steps forward, begins solo.]

Shut up Joel stop hogging the spotlight
No one really likes you anyway...
I'm dryer then a West Texas armadilla dirt mite
And if you ever interrupt me I'll make you pay.

[Deadpan. Joel solo.]

Sorry Bob, would you like some cream pie?
It's baked in the traditional waaaayy! [Bob: Sure! Joel throws pie in face.]
Whoops, sorry well at least you're still dry [Cue seltzer.]
Ha ha *$&*#&@*(^$@ take that!

[Music enters minor bridge.]

Bob: That doesn't rhyme...
Joel: So what?
Bob: You're ruining the show that's what.
Joel: Eat me, Wright.

[Out of bridge, back to major. Bob solo.]

Sorry, folks but we're having some problems
There's going to be an unavoidable delay
We'll get back to you as soon as we solve them[Throws pie in Joel's face.]
Revenge is sweet, Joel, so sweet, hey hey!

[All together, bring it home.]

Welcome to the Bob and Joel Comedy Hour
We're here to make you laugh
If you've been feeling all down and dour
Then perk up your ears...
And sit still in your chairs
Cause we're going to make you chuckle today!!!!!!

[A single, slow clap from the audience.]

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